This weekend was not really a happy one, even though it should have been. I'm glad I was able to see the movie with my friend, so I wanna start off with that. I don't know how I would have felt if I was alone.
"But you got to see the movie." Yes I did, and I'm happy about that. But it was kind of like taking medicine to numb the pain and stress of what's been going on lately.
Every week of Starish Tours, a movie bonus was offered. Coasters, metallic tape, instant photos, stickers, etc. In all I've watched the movie at least 70 or 80 times, collecting as many of the bonuses as I could (and some extra for others). I was pretty good at getting seats every week, even for the weeks with the more in-demand bonuses. I enjoyed the movie every single time, even if something happened before or during the screening to not make it my best experience.
For Week 7, pieces of movie film strips were introduced. Rather than having 7 different characters, there was a variety of short clips that people could get. They edited them so that there would always be a character featured in the clip (no fade outs or blank scenes, pictures of only the stage, etc.) but depending on the clip, they could be in the middle of doing something, having an unflattering expression (like eyes half open or mouth open in a somewhat weird way). Trading would also be a pain depending on how selective people were about the scenes they wanted. Nonetheless, it was by far the most popular bonus that led to people calling it コマフィルム地獄, or "Filmstrip Hell."
Things were already bad, but I think it really brought out the worst in people. I was not my best self either, mostly due to the stress of other things going on. There were some nice images that people shared which was good, but I'm not sure if it overrode the sadness of those who couldn't get anything, or who got shots that they didn't feel were worth sharing. I'm usually an optimistic person, but even when I pulled clips of Ren, I felt really disappointed when they were shots that I felt no one would really care about, so I haven't shared them yet. I feel fortunate that I was able to trade with a few people, and I did pull a few good shots myself, but there were so many that I couldn't help but wish I had (especially a shot with both Tokiya and Ren in it).
But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was seeing and hearing about resellers snatching up tickets and then not seeing the movie, and then watching people--actual fans--get up and leave the movie they were watching to catch another show, just so they could get another filmstrip. One of the "princesses" I saw running out still had her ring light on, and it was decorated with lace and ribbon just like in the Christmas card novelty. And yet, she left the movie early.
Overseas fans are struggling to get anything and are soon losing the only official English content they had with Shining Live Global shutting down. Meanwhile, we've been barraged left and right with merch, collaborations, more merch, events, all of which is so much to keep up with that I feel like I'm drowning. I'm drowning to the point that my day job actually feels like an escape sometimes. I'll get notifications on Twitter and sometimes pray that it isn't an announcement about something new.
Don't get me wrong, I still love UtaPri. I'm here for good, especially because Ren is the love of my life and meeting him is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I also want to stress that the bad behavior I saw was a minority, and I do think most of the fans here in Japan have been respecting the movie by watching it from start to finish (or at least from the time they enter the theater). But as a whole, the blissful memories I have watching Starish Tours are starting to be overshadowed by a lot of stress. I know part of that is my fault, since I've chosen to devote my life to trying to stay on top of things on behalf of everyone else.
I can't live without you...🧡#うたプリST_コマフィルム展示会場 pic.twitter.com/1GBcvr8Ad9— 🎷🧡Sooyong✈スヨン💜🎤 #UtaPriMerge (@bitchfacetokiya) November 12, 2022
I'm trying to rest. I think my upcoming visit to the USA is probably for the best, and then I can reset and pray that things will calm down after this film war ends, or after the movie is no longer in theaters. I'll really miss it, but I'm praying that I can smile until the next big event.
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